I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
