Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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