I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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