Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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