you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
