you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
