Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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