Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
...so i touched it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
