Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
