Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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