She is in my trunk
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
