Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
