I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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