Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
