he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
