I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
