I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
