His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
