So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Bring me that man meat
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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