Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
