my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
