Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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