Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
