it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
