I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
