do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
