Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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