no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
