i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
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