Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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