guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am midnight drunk by noon
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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