Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
