I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
