Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
