Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
