I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
