OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
