he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
