How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
