This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
someone threw a dead crab at me
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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