Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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