So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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