the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
