So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
