Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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