Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
