I just made out with a guy for $7.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
