So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
