I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my being single is dangerous.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
