Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
